AWKWARD TURTLES & ACOUSTIC NEUROMAS

I'll admit I've been pretty camera-shy since my surgery. Even though my friends and family are convinced my face looks normal and that my facial weakness is "barely noticeable," I've still refrained from all photo-ops. It's one thing to feel like yourself and another thing entirely to look in the mirror or at a photograph and wonder where you're face went. And then I got my smile back.  I've already gushed about how excited I was (and still am!) that I could now flash a toothy grin with the best of them. I finally didn't care that my right eye was still a little dysfunctional or that I was rockin' a crazy hairdo. I could smile again and things were alright with the world.  Liz, a fellow AN-er and faithful reader of Awkward Turtles, requested that I post a picture of said smile. So, Liz, this one's for you. I continue to wish you all the best with your upcoming surgery and hope this entry serves as a happy reminder that you'l...

Happy summer everyone! I couldn't be more thankful that the beginning of my favorite season and my six week milestone are just two days shy of each other. The fact that I'm able to get out and do some of my favorite summertime activities has truly been the icing on my cake. This week I managed to go swimming, biking and tubing all without any adverse effects (and very little fatigue). The plan is to continue challenging myself by gradually increasing my activity level and the variety of activities. I'm thinking maybe a hike for this coming week? My MRI came back with excellent results.  Iggy appears to have left the building for good and I won't need another scan until next May. My follow-up with Dr. Woodson went almost as well. She very impressed with the improvement in my balance and was nearly as happy as I was that my smile had returned fully. The only wrench in the works was my right eye. It still doesn't blink properly, tear, or close completely. So instead ...

That's right--only one more week and I'll have reached the end of my "short term" recovery period. After my six week update, I'll only be posting "Turtle Tracks" on a monthly basis since whatever progress I make from that point will be more gradual. While there are still a few things I'm waiting on to make a comeback, overall, I'd have to say I feel pretty functional. I do have my moments (i.e. my bonfire experience) when I'm reminded that I'm not quite  there yet, but they are lessening in number. This coming week I make (hopefully) my last two trips to the Cleveland Clinic. First, for my follow-up MRI to ensure that Iggy is truly gone for good and, second, for my final checkup with Dr. Woodson. (Can I say I'm a little bummed I'll never see Dr. Seth again?) If I get the all clear, I'm going look into doing a 90-day trial with the Phonak Cros hearing aid. It's ironic that a hearing aid is what I originally went to the Cl...

...my back porch last night. On a whim, my family decided to have a bonfire yesterday. It was a beautiful day, we were all home, and, well, why not  have a bonfire? So my dad ran off to the store to secure the hot dogs and giant marshmallows, my mom collected firewood, and I took charge of setting things on fire. We had a lovely time goofing off, burning food, trying to see if any of us actually knew a legitimate campfire song. By 10:30, the fire had begun to die down and I could feel myself starting to doze off. I decided to make a beeline for the house so I could get first dibs on the shower and head to bed. I uncurled myself from my chair and headed for the back porch. And that's when the funny thing happened. Although I was taking very deliberate steps forward, I found myself moving further to the right and away from the porch with every step I took. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I had eaten quite a few marshmallows, and it was late and quite dark....

Happy one month ANniversary to me!  This  is the milestone I've been waiting for. Everyone--my doctors, other AN-ers, my dad--told me that the four week mark was when I would really start to feel like myself again. And, for the most part, I do. My balance is still not 100% and my right eye still doesn't close entirely or tear, but now I can attempt to start driving and begin to be more active. Now I can take those first steps to re-entering my life. Certainly exciting times! So is it weird that part of me is just the slightest bit terrified? I've lived a sheltered existence these past four weeks. Outside of my weekly trips to therapy and the Cleveland Clinic, I haven't really left the house. I know there'll be reactions to my hair (or lack thereof). Perhaps the occasional double-take or stare that lasts a couple seconds too long. I know I'll have to field questions about my general well-being and requests to re-hash the last four weeks in vivid detail. I may...

I know I've been a bit blog happy these past few days but I have to squeeze in one more entry for the week. You've all heard me complain endlessly about my incision and the swelling and the fact that I still have to wear my pressure bandage three weeks out. Of this entire recovery process so far, that's probably been my biggest hurdle. Soo...I'm happy to finally share some good news regarding this situation. Since the removal of my stitches on Thursday I've been a bit, um, lax, about wearing my bandage. After three weeks it didn't seem to be accomplishing much outside of causing me excessive amounts of misery, so Thursday I only wore it at night and Friday I didn't wear it all. Well, by Friday evening the swelling had increased to the largest it had been and was actually beginning to cause me pain. I reluctantly had my brother put my bandage on that night and resolved to start wearing it more faithfully. The following day, Saturday, I kept it on until the ...

Even though I'm technically supposed to wear my bandage until the swelling has completely resolved, now that my stitches are out I tend to keep it on only at night (or if I'm lazing about the house). Which means I finally had to address the situation of my hair this week. After much contemplation and experimentation with what exactly I could and could not do with my hair, I wound up with the following 'do. (You can still see the swelling. Uhhh...go away already!) Which is based on this gal's 'do. I know it's wild, edgy, a bit risque but when you've got lemons you've got to make lemon ice, right? So...thoughts?

Here we are at the close of yet another week. And what a week it's been! Even though my time in the hospital takes the cake medically, I think emotionally this week has been the hardest for me so far. Somewhere in the midst of having to spend yet another week with my bandage and stitches, coming to terms with my loss of hair (and determining what to do with it), and starting to feel like myself but not getting my body to cooperate, I found I was losing a lot of my motivation and confidence. Frankly, I was just exhausted. Again, not physically, but mentally and emotionally from trying to stay positive when it seemed like I wasn't making much progress. On top of that, I felt like I had to stay optimistic for my family, too. At the first signs of angst they immediately either look for ways to cheer me up or admonish me to take heart and not sulk. I know they have only the best of intentions, but it can be wearying. YET, as I began to type up my "Turtle Tracks" for th...