3 weeks post op!
Here we are at the close of yet another week. And what a week it's been! Even though my time in the hospital takes the cake medically, I think emotionally this week has been the hardest for me so far.
Somewhere in the midst of having to spend yet another week with my bandage and stitches, coming to terms with my loss of hair (and determining what to do with it), and starting to feel like myself but not getting my body to cooperate, I found I was losing a lot of my motivation and confidence. Frankly, I was just exhausted. Again, not physically, but mentally and emotionally from trying to stay positive when it seemed like I wasn't making much progress. On top of that, I felt like I had to stay optimistic for my family, too. At the first signs of angst they immediately either look for ways to cheer me up or admonish me to take heart and not sulk. I know they have only the best of intentions, but it can be wearying.
YET, as I began to type up my "Turtle Tracks" for the week I realized that, while it was slow going at times, I was (and am) making progress.
And my goal for this coming week? Driving!
Somewhere in the midst of having to spend yet another week with my bandage and stitches, coming to terms with my loss of hair (and determining what to do with it), and starting to feel like myself but not getting my body to cooperate, I found I was losing a lot of my motivation and confidence. Frankly, I was just exhausted. Again, not physically, but mentally and emotionally from trying to stay positive when it seemed like I wasn't making much progress. On top of that, I felt like I had to stay optimistic for my family, too. At the first signs of angst they immediately either look for ways to cheer me up or admonish me to take heart and not sulk. I know they have only the best of intentions, but it can be wearying.
YET, as I began to type up my "Turtle Tracks" for the week I realized that, while it was slow going at times, I was (and am) making progress.
ȍȌȍTURTLE TRACKSȍȌȍ
- My stitches are out!! Even though my swelling has gone down little, if any, Dr. Woodson felt that she could safely remove them yesterday without fear of the incision re-opening. Big step forward!
- I can wink! My right eye is able to close enough now for me to do Betty Boop proud.
- I've also been able to start wearing my contacts again. A huge step forward in my opinion as I despise wearing my glasses. Even more so when I'm attempting to squeeze them on underneath a bandage.
- I'm not allowed to exercise for another week still but I have been trying to do 15 minutes on the stationary bike every day.
- I've begun to notice that whenever my heart rate goes up, my head starts to pound terribly. It doesn't last long but it's pretty debilitating while it's happening. I mentioned this to Dr. Woodson and she seemed unfazed. I'm going to make another assumption that this will subside as well.
- I'm finished taking all of my medications, including those I was only taking on an as need basis. I will still use the occasional Tylenol or Ibuprofen for minor aches and pains but no more prescriptions.
- Believe it or not, three weeks out and my arms are still giving me trouble. I've continued to use heat and massage/manipulation but I'm starting to get a little concerned. What exactly did they do to my arms in that O.R.?? And how long does it take for muscles to repair themselves?
- It's difficult to say where I am with fatigue. The steroids I was on kept me awake all hours of the night so I didn't sleep much this week or the week before. However, now that I'm off of them I have a feeling the fatigue is going to hit me pretty hard. I think I'll have a better idea how much I've progressed in this area at the end of this coming week.
- I finished my novel and watched several full length movies AND completed my jigsaw puzzle. So, yes, my focus is much better.
And my goal for this coming week? Driving!
You deserve some time to feeling down. Staying positive pre-surgery with all the attendant stress and anxiety is tiring in itself. Then you did have a long brain surgery. Most people experience " survivor's euphoria " after most easier kinds of surgery because the problem is behind them. But
ReplyDeleteyour surgery was only the beginning of your difficulties as you deal with the complications that follow AN removal. Up and down moods are normal and you are dealing with them well.
It is good to hear that your eye is closing, even with effort. It may be best to count small victories and let them add up. And add up they will.
If you think about it, you were once concerned about how far off the Clinic set your surgery date. Then that day arrived, and the time waiting for the removal now probably seems quite short. Your recovery time so far is nowhere near the time you spent waiting for the operation. Take a day at a time and count the victories like you are: finished a novel, watched a movie all the way through, can blink your eye. They all add up. Good luck, you deserve it
You're absolutely right! I've been seeing little improvements and making small victories each week and focusing on them has really helped me to get back on track.
DeleteThanks so much for your encouragement!
Glad to hear you are experiencing some improvement in facial function. That's a very good sign! And you can read and watch TV!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you could use a hug. {{{{Manders}}}}
LizAN
Thanks, Liz! Hugs are the best! :o)
DeleteYou have done wonderful this week. My bandage came off the day I came home. In don't have the problem with the hair either because, blesshis heart, Dr Kesser shaved very little off nad my hair is long so you can't see the battle scar. And I wouldn't care if you could. I am a proud warrior, lol.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have any fcial defencies, thank God and i pray yours will resolve quickly. Like you I'm feeling like a pttering turtle, unsure how to feel. I'm glad surgery is over and well onto to recovery but there's something there. Perhaps when I get out today my mood will improve. I just get sooooo exhausted. I ask my self why? I slept through the whole thing, lol. Balance is a major thing with me still. Using a walker is hilarious entertainment for my family but embarrassing for me.
Anyway, I'm glad you are continuing to do well. The do looks great. You can definately rock it!!
Kixit
I'm so glad to hear your recovery is going so well! It sounds like once your balance issues and fatigue settle down you'll be well on your way. It's so nice to have another AN-er make it safely through to be a postie. :)
DeleteI used a walker briefly in the hospital and I totally felt like I should just shuffle off to a retirement home too. lol
Thanks for the continued encouragement and the same to you! You've got this!