Introducing "Iggy"

I have decided that since this tumor and I are going to be spending lots of quality time together over the next two months, it seems only fitting that it have a name. And I have decided on Iggy.

Now, I can't really take credit for this idea or the name. This, um, somewhat crazy development is largely due to fellow AN patient and ANA forum member, Mike. During the course of a recent forum discussion, he happened to mention that during his experience he had named his tumor Irving. Curious as to not only the concept of naming a tumor but also the choice of the name itself, I asked him about it. His reply? The inspiration for the name came from a 1960's cartoon "Krazy Kat and Ignatz" and the decision to name it, well, "Humor accomplishes two things. It makes us smile or laugh, and it shrinks or makes it small in our 'mind's eye.'" He had considered naming it Iggy after Ignatz but decided it was too cute and settled on Irving instead. Leaving the name Iggy wide open for me to swoop in and borrow. (Thanks, Mike!)

So, there you have it folks. From here on out, Iggy it is. I actually like the fact that it is a cutesy name. It makes the whole thing seem entirely more tolerable and innocuous. 

    Inspired

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So...my mom freaked me out a little the other night. I'm pretty sure it wasn't her intention but regardless it's exactly what happened. I was sitting in my room, minding my own business, doing my hair and watching a TV show, when in she walks. (Yet another reason why it's high time I move out. Although, in all honesty, I would've probably had to move back in for a few weeks anyway after the surgery anyway...but anywho...) So yes, there I am, enjoying life, NOT thinking about my neuroma or impending surgery and in she walks and out of the blue asks me how I style my hair. Not sure where this random question was coming from and why she saw fit to ask me at that moment, I asked for a little clarification. "Well, seeing as you're going to be in the hospital for a few days after your surgery and probably not able to do much, I wanted to know how you do your hair so I can fix it for you."  Immediately, I think "What?! Where is this coming from? My surgery is two months away and, frankly, I don't want to think about it much less talk about it." And certainly not in such specificity! I tried not to sound like too much of a grouch as I more or less said just that to my mom. I mean, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, right?

Well anyway, after she had left I was the teeniest bit of a basket case. It's one thing to think about your looming brain surgery as some sort of distant, abstract concept floating around in the ether. It's completely different to contemplate what it's actually going to be like to be knocked out for 8 hours, have part of your hair shaved, a hole drilled in your head, fat harvested from your abdomen, stuck in ICU for 24 hours and then trapped in a hospital for 3-5 days which may or may not be extended depending on whether or not my brain starts leaking or if I can figure out how to walk again. And then there's the weeks of recovery. Yup....no worries.

So maybe my seemingly nonchalant previous post was a bit, well, nonchalant. I think I'm fine with everything as long as I don't actually think about it in detail. Yes, I want to be well-prepared for what's to come and I have spent (and continue to spend) a good chunk of time reading about other patients experiences both pre- and post-surgery. I just think that in order for me to stay sane these next two months I need to keep a more general perspective of the situation. I'll leave all of those last-minute details, like what to pack for my hospital stay (or how to style my hair!), for the one or two weeks leading up to the surgery. For now, I'm just going to do my best to focus on what's right in front me.