AWKWARD TURTLES & ACOUSTIC NEUROMAS

I know it hasn't been that long. Not even three weeks yet. Everyone tells me that things will heal. In weeks. In months. Maybe in a year I'll look and feel like I did a few weeks ago. The thing is, sometimes when I wake up in the morning I've forgotten I'm broken. The feeling is fleeting to be sure. But for a moment, or a few moments, I feel just like I did before Iggy. Before all of this. I feel like I can hop out of bed and throw on my scrubs and drive to work. Or my workout gear and race off to teach a Zumba class. I feel like when I smile my face will crinkle up the way it used to and my other dimple will be there. Or that when I run my fingers through my hair that's what I'll find. Hair. And not peach fuzz and a lumpy line of stitches. Sometimes, I miss me. I don't mean to be depressing. I know my entries are usually brimming with humor and a large helping of sarcasm. I like humor and sarcasm. They're pretty fantastic. But the path to healin...

While I was hugely relieved to be finally going home from the hospital on the 18th, I have to admit part of me was a little terrified to leave my cocoon of nurses and doctors who were monitoring me round the clock. I mean how on earth was I supposed to keep track of everything? Meds, therapy, wound care...it was all just slightly overwhelming. Thankfully, my mom, trooper that she is, stepped up to the plate so all I had to do was putter along and do whatever she told me. To help keep things straight, I'm going to put a list here (yay, more lists!) of some of the things I had to do post-surgery so you can have a better idea of what you may need to do in the days and weeks after. (Please keep in mind that your post-surgery care is entirely dependent on the symptoms/conditions you end up with and will vary from person to person.) Medications: This area will definitely differ from patient to patient as there is a wide range of post-surgery symptoms. For example, I have been blesse...

Can you believe it's already been two weeks since Iggy's demise? What a whirlwind it's been! If time keeps up this happy little pace, I'll be at my 6 week milestone before I know it. I had the pleasure of seeing Dr. Woodson and Dr. Seth yesterday afternoon for my first post-op visit. The plan was to remove my bandage and stitches and send me on my merry way. Yes, that's right. Was . Over the course of this past week, not only did the fluid around the incision refuse to dissipate, but I developed a large seroma (collection of fluid) at the site of my hip incision as well. It actually started leaking ( leaking !!) Tuesday night and Wednesday my dad had to apply a pressure bandage to the area to control the swelling. Folks, let me tell you, by the middle of the week I was feeling every bit like the birthday balloon that you find three months after your party and was left to die a slow, leaky death. Between the bandage wrapped around my head and the mass of gauze ta...

(Note: Apologies for this entry. My focus has been really off today and, although I know it's English, I'm not entirely sure what I typed.) Yesterday was my first session with the vestibular therapist. It was also my first trip out since coming home from the hospital. So far, cars and I aren't really getting along. I guess I didn't notice as much on the way home from Cleveland as my mind was entirely occupied with thoughts of escape. However, yesterday I realized that I get nauseous if I keep my eyes open for too long. I don't get dizzy so much as I think my poor little brain is getting over-stimulated. I've found that it helps to pick a point in the distance and focus on that and when that gets old I just use the time to nap. I'm hoping this won't last very long, just until my gaze starts to stabilize a bit more.    Bored Speaking of which, the whole not being able to focus thing is totally wreaking havoc on my Comprehensive List of Things to Do...

We all know that I worked diligently to properly pack and prepare for (should I say it? oh, alliteration!) my post-surgery hospital stay. I hosted interviews, compiled spreadsheets, used up several stacks of Post-Its, etc. etc. But when it came right down to it, what did I actually need during my week long sojourn at the Cleveland Clinic? First and foremost...My mama! Oh my goodness, I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done without her. From the time she arrived on Sunday until I was discharged on Friday evening she was constantly by my side. She was my hero, my saint, my Mother Theresa. My helper to the potty, expert sponge-bather, and masseuse. For those of you preparing for surgery, I  strongly  suggest having someone who can stay with you round the clock if at all possible. It doesn't matter if it's your spouse, sibling, boyfriend, or Great-Aunt Shirley, just have that one person there who can look out for you. Nurses are amazing, wonderful souls bu...

I know I've already described what I look like post-surgery but, as the saying goes, the picture is worth a whole lot more. Below are a few snapshots of my various and sundry "battle scars" from going down a round with Iggy. The inside of my right arm. The docs decided this was either from the IV or how I was positioned during surgery. This little guy my mom found on my left ear after surgery. (We also found a matching one on my tailbone.) Again, the docs figured it was because  I was lying on it for so long. The incision on my right hip from the fat graft measuring 2 inches And the Big Kahuna itself, also measuring 2 inches wide and running from forehead to nape Soo...hair styling ideas anyone? :)

(dictated by me, typed by big bro) Ookay, folks, it's time. Time to hear all about what really went down behind those OR doors and the subsequent week in the hospital that followed. Be forewarned, I'll not spare any details. So for those of you who may be queasy of heart or mind, you might want to skim this entry. I know that as a person who had never been hospitalized or had major surgery prior to this, I wanted to know everything beforehand. I mean everything . To me, the less surprises I faced once I actually got to the hospital the better. Days 1-2: I won't say too much about the day of surgery as I was only conscious for a few hours of it and my dad already took care of documenting that bit. We arrived at the surgery center a little before 5 and by 5:30 I was registered and heading back to a "holding room" to be prepped. I spent a little over an hour back there getting gowned, IV'd, and barraged by a host of medical questions. The nurses...

Ohh, it's so good to be back! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back on the blogging board but sadly my eyes and the computer screen are still not cooperating and its difficult for me to type for very long. (Which is awful because I have soo much I want to share!) I'm going to try and see if I can rope my older brother into assisting me with some of these first entries. I just want to make sure I get everything down while it's still fresh in my mind. This entry is going to be another quick one, but I wanted to give everyone an update on my new "post-surgery self." Brain surgery really takes it out of you and, as expected, I'm not quite functioning the way I used to a week ago. So what does the newly sliced and diced Amanda feel like? Well... - I have a 1 inch + strip of shaved hair running from my forehead to the nape of my neck on the right side and a beautiful set of stitches to match. The doc ended up shaving off more hair than she had ...

Hi everyone! I just wanted to hop on since I had a quick minute and let you know that it's looking like I do NOT have meningitis. I know my dad kind of left everyone hanging with his last entry and I just wanted to assure everyone that I am doing well and making good progress. Unfortunately, I found out today that there's been some brain fluid collecting at my incision site so I had to get my pressure bandage put back on which I wasn't too happy about. But I'm trying my best to stay positive and am really hoping to be home by Saturday. :o) Will post again very soon! And HUGE thanks to all of my friends, family and ANA buddies who have continued to be such a great support. Love you guys tons!!

Hello, we're experiencing a possible complication.  A spinal tap, labs and ct scan have been ordered to rule out meningitis. We appreciate your continual prayers for Amanda.

Hello everyone. Today begins the hard work of recovery. Vestibular therapist in today to teach me how to walk again. Nausea is still a big problem. Possible discharge today? Will need outpatient therapy for ambulation and to reduce dizziness. Thanks to all for your prayers and encouragement.

Hello. tolerating soft diet. sitting up in a chair and ambulating down hall with assistance. family into visit at 2 P.M. Mom will be staying with me until I'm discharged in 2 days assuming I continue to improve. on oral pain medication now.

Hello, transferred to  ENT  step down unit at 10:30 A.M. very groggy. In a lot of pain. started clear liquid diet. vomiting when walking to bathroom. Morphine helping. My arms are very sore from being held in a crucifixion position during 12 hour plus surgery.

Hello everyone. sent to ICU for observation after leaving recovery room at about 10:30 P.M.  anesthesia wearing off. vomited once. otherwise stable.

Hi everyone,  I'm Amanda's father and I'll be taking over her posting duties for awhile until Amanda's feeling up to it again. She made it clear that I was to post updates as frequently as possible so I'll do my best to keep everyone up to date. I'm neither a blogger nor much of a typer so please bear with me. Instead of posting a different entry for each milestone of her surgery, I'll just continue to update in this entry. Just keep checking back for new information. Hello everyone. Arrived at Cleveland Clinic 4:30 A.M. I registered then waited and waited. I talked to the surgeon briefly. I'm on my way to the operating room. It is 7:00 A.M. I will update every 2-3 hours. Operation should be completed by 3 P.M. It will take until noon for the surgeon to reach the neuroma. Hello everyone. It is 8:15 A.M and surgery has commenced. Hola. everyone. It is 10:42 A.M. and I am still in the land down under. All is well! Hi. 12:06 P.M. and surgeon state...

Well, folks, the time has finally come. After over two months of waiting, I was beginning to wonder if this day would ever get here. It's a good thing, though, because I'm pretty sure my nerves have had about all they can take. As promised, I just wanted to jot down a few of my last thoughts before the big day. Apologies in advance. My mind's all over the place right now so I'm sure this entry will sound just as scatter-brained as I feel.     Scatter-brained (and soo ready for tomorrow to get here already!) Okay, well, first off, my packing didn't turn out quite as planned. When my mom caught wind of the fact that I was only taking one change of clothing, and not even a proper pair of PJs at that, she was at JCPenney faster than I could say "flannel nightgown." Needless to say, after several days of shopping and a couple of phone calls to my place of work to see whether I would prefer pink polka dots to red and to discuss how I truly felt about wearin...

Yesterday was my last day of work. Since my parents are taking me away for a long weekend, it didn't make sense for me to try and come back and work for one day (Wednesday). So I spent all of yesterday training the new girls who will be taking over for me while I'm gone. Up to this point, Iggy hasn't really interfered with my "daily grind," so to speak. I know he's up there livin' large, but he hasn't forced me to make any actual changes to my day to day routine. Not until today anyway. It didn't hit me until I was leaving the clinic yesterday and all of my co-workers were coming by to wish me all the best and offer hugs (they all looked so incredibly sad that part of me felt like I was heading off to the gallows and not the O.R.) that my life is changing and, consequently, so am I. Regardless of what scars or physical reminders I may end up with, I know this entire experience will leave me a better, stronger version of myself. *****************...

Well, folks, this it. The final countdown to Iggy's removal. Chicago is finally over (we had 3 great performances!), things have been squared away with work and Zumba, and there's really nothing left for me to do but wait. I know I've technically been waiting for this day since February but knowing that the surgery is next Friday and not two months away, well, it changes things. Oddly, I feel a bit more peaceful now than I have before. I think it's because I've finally accepted that this is happening. I know, I know. You'd think being in denial would result in a calmer state of mind. But I think for me, I was having a bit of an internal struggle between the part of me that had accepted it and the part of me that hadn't. Now that all of me is on the same bandwagon, I feel much better. I'm still making a superhuman effort though to stay focused on my normal routine and go about business as usual. I've been telling myself that I can freak out all wa...