Post-surgery self

Ohh, it's so good to be back! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back on the blogging board but sadly my eyes and the computer screen are still not cooperating and its difficult for me to type for very long. (Which is awful because I have soo much I want to share!) I'm going to try and see if I can rope my older brother into assisting me with some of these first entries. I just want to make sure I get everything down while it's still fresh in my mind.

This entry is going to be another quick one, but I wanted to give everyone an update on my new "post-surgery self." Brain surgery really takes it out of you and, as expected, I'm not quite functioning the way I used to a week ago. So what does the newly sliced and diced Amanda feel like? Well...

- I have a 1 inch + strip of shaved hair running from my forehead to the nape of my neck on the right side and a beautiful set of stitches to match. The doc ended up shaving off more hair than she had planned (she told my dad before I woke up from surgery that I was not going to be happy with her) so I'm not quite sure what to do with it. It's definitely noticeable and since my hair's not long it doesn't cover it well. Once I get my head wrap removed on Friday I'll try and figure out a new 'do.

- I did end up with some right facial weakness so my right eye doesn't close all the way, my smile isn't quite there, and my lips act a little funky. Thankfully, my face doesn't droop so it's not that noticeable. The docs said it could take weeks to months for it to be 100% again but I'm trying to stay positive that it wasn't worse.

- My arms got quite a beating from how they were positioned in surgery for 12 hours. It basically feels like someone sliced open my biceps, took out the muscles and replaced them with two solid bricks. It's been a week and I still can't extend my arms fully. I've also had some muscle weakness in my hands which has made things like writing and eating a little difficult. I think it's mainly from lack of use and I'm going to try and drill them on the piano as soon as I can.

- The fat graft ended up getting taken from the top of my right thigh so I have 1 1/2 inch (?) incision there

-Because my incision site began to collect a little brain fluid, I had to have my head wrap put back on and will have to keep it no for another week until the stitches are removed. If you're curious as to what it looks like think of Princess Leia minus one bun. There ya go.

- My balance is definitely off. I can get around without a walker or cane but, let me tell you, it's slow going. It takes me a bit to get focused (and stay focused) and I'm definitely a left-ward drifter. This is one area where I can really tell I'm getting better each day which is encouraging. At the same time, I feel like I should just be able to get up and walk without having to think about it and I can't. 

- Along with the balance issue comes the requisite dizziness and nausea. I tend to keep my eyes closed a lot more when I'm up and about because depending on how much is going on in the environment my head and stomach start to get a little cantankerous with each other.

- The fatigue's pretty bad. Everything wears me out. I mean, just taking a shower is a monumental affair requiring rest stops and pep talks and pit crews (lol). 

- Reading and typing (actually focusing on anything for any period of time) is difficult. I get headaches and my eyes tire out easily. Part of my therapy exercises are actually designed just to get me to work on focusing so I have my work cut out for me.
- My sense of taste is off. I didn't notice it much at the hospital but on the way home yesterday we stopped at Chipotle and (horrors!) it just wasn't that great. I'm not sure how to describe it. Some things taste the same, others taste completely different, and still other foods seem as though I'm only getting half the flavor.

And that's pretty much it. A week after removing Iggy, that's basically how I'm feeling inside and out. Emotionally, I'm a bit up and down. One moment I have all the optimism of a Skittles commercial and the next I'm tearing up because I just want to be myself again. Four to six weeks just sounds so incredibly long to be "back to normal." Especially when it was just a week ago that I could dance and smile and teach an hour long Zumba class. I literally went to sleep for 12 hours and woke up a different person. 

*Also, huge thanks to my dad for posting updates for me! I know it was a bit of a struggle for him but he did a great job and I know from the comments everyone appreciated his posts.